MAYA GOERTEMOELLER
Year Two:Courage in vulnerability
When I received the email that I was selected to speak at the UC Convocation for 2021, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My convocation consisted of a few short YouTube videos that I watched alone at my desk, so when I walked in behind President Pinto to an arena filled with every single UC freshman and the marching band playing alongside the cheer team, I was suprised, to say the least. For the first time, I felt like a "real" college student after spending the year taking Zoom classes in my bedroom, but I also felt overcome by the magnitude of the speech I was about to give.
What better way to begin your in-person college journey that opening up about the most difficult experience of your life in front of thousands of strangers... right? As I stepped to the front of the stage, the entirety of Fifth Third Arena came to dead-silent hush, and I began by challenging them to think about a time where they felt "broken down". I then asked them to think about how, in that same moment, they were "broken open" as I told the story of what that looked like for me. I explained how my struggles with anxiety, perfectionism, and a fear of failure shattered my gilded idea of linear growth and showed me that true success comes from the beautifully imperfect process that is failure. I ended by touching on how in our lowest, most vulnerable moments, we learn the most about the kind of person we want to become. As I spoke these words, I felt myself discovering the kind of person I wanted to become.
These three minutes of vulnerability showed me the beauty in this special kind of courage. Coming off the stage, I was embraced by so many students who made me feel loved authentically for my journey. I began to uncover the genuine support that can only be found by taking a moment to be brave and open up. Knowing that speaking about the struggles I went through with my mental health made a real impact on others filled me with a sense of love like never before. It was exactly what I needed to begin this year of healing and self-discovery.
While this journey was far from linear, I was certainly better equipped than when I began my freshman year. As I moved into my apartment, I filled every corner with creative outlets, from a piano to journals to cooking equipment. I began to practice saying "no" and setting boundaries, and while both of these crushed the people-pleaser inside of me, these little acts of courage are what allowed me to begin my road to healing. Most importantly, I put an emphasis on connection. Whether that was coming home for family dinner or heading to a coffee shop with a friend, these little moments with the people I love served as a safety net when this road had its obstacles.
Without the blinders of perfectionism, I have finally able to begin exploring what truly makes me spark. This past January, I began my role as the VP of Outreach and Programming for the College Panhellenic Council. This role has not only combined every little thing I love, from creativity to sisterhood to activism, but also has brought me some of my best friends and the most incredible role models. Getting to plan self-care sisterhoods and inclusivity trainings make my heart light up, and I get to do all of this alongside friends that I look up to tremendously. I have learned so much about who I want to become in these next couple of years as I get to do work that sparks a fire in my soul.
All of this is made possible because of little moments of vulnerability, little moments of courage. Whether it is something as grand as speaking about my mental health journey to a packed arena or as little as saying "no" to plans when I need a night in, I am learning that the road to healing and growth takes bravery. Through these vulnerable acts of courage, I am beginning to discover my most authentic self, and that is the greatest gift I have ever received. I can't wait to continue learning who she is and who she is going to become as I continue taking these leaps of faith.
What better way to begin your in-person college journey that opening up about the most difficult experience of your life in front of thousands of strangers... right? As I stepped to the front of the stage, the entirety of Fifth Third Arena came to dead-silent hush, and I began by challenging them to think about a time where they felt "broken down". I then asked them to think about how, in that same moment, they were "broken open" as I told the story of what that looked like for me. I explained how my struggles with anxiety, perfectionism, and a fear of failure shattered my gilded idea of linear growth and showed me that true success comes from the beautifully imperfect process that is failure. I ended by touching on how in our lowest, most vulnerable moments, we learn the most about the kind of person we want to become. As I spoke these words, I felt myself discovering the kind of person I wanted to become.
These three minutes of vulnerability showed me the beauty in this special kind of courage. Coming off the stage, I was embraced by so many students who made me feel loved authentically for my journey. I began to uncover the genuine support that can only be found by taking a moment to be brave and open up. Knowing that speaking about the struggles I went through with my mental health made a real impact on others filled me with a sense of love like never before. It was exactly what I needed to begin this year of healing and self-discovery.
While this journey was far from linear, I was certainly better equipped than when I began my freshman year. As I moved into my apartment, I filled every corner with creative outlets, from a piano to journals to cooking equipment. I began to practice saying "no" and setting boundaries, and while both of these crushed the people-pleaser inside of me, these little acts of courage are what allowed me to begin my road to healing. Most importantly, I put an emphasis on connection. Whether that was coming home for family dinner or heading to a coffee shop with a friend, these little moments with the people I love served as a safety net when this road had its obstacles.
Without the blinders of perfectionism, I have finally able to begin exploring what truly makes me spark. This past January, I began my role as the VP of Outreach and Programming for the College Panhellenic Council. This role has not only combined every little thing I love, from creativity to sisterhood to activism, but also has brought me some of my best friends and the most incredible role models. Getting to plan self-care sisterhoods and inclusivity trainings make my heart light up, and I get to do all of this alongside friends that I look up to tremendously. I have learned so much about who I want to become in these next couple of years as I get to do work that sparks a fire in my soul.
All of this is made possible because of little moments of vulnerability, little moments of courage. Whether it is something as grand as speaking about my mental health journey to a packed arena or as little as saying "no" to plans when I need a night in, I am learning that the road to healing and growth takes bravery. Through these vulnerable acts of courage, I am beginning to discover my most authentic self, and that is the greatest gift I have ever received. I can't wait to continue learning who she is and who she is going to become as I continue taking these leaps of faith.